i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
lol hangovers are for mortals.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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