Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
