windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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