At least make sure they are 18
Why
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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