I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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