my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
