who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
