1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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