i wish there were pregnant emoticons
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
