i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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