This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
