Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

It would be one hovered percent delicioui

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(916): View more from California

I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up

Fav 5 3024 1299
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(432): View more from Texas

I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.

Fav 20 4884 1326
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(705): View more from Ontario

I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?

Fav 1 671 501
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(541): View more from Oregon

Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.

Fav 1 657 469
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(360): View more from Washington

THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.

Fav 3 115 14
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(757): View more from Virginia

I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.

Fav 0 22 45
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