you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
