He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
the raccoons are back...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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