and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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