Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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