wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
