What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize