I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
