is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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