Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you told grandpa to call you daddy
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
