Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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