Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You need a sexual gate keeper
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
