i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
