last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
