what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
