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he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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