apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
