Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Enjoy the penises
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize