you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
