"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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