Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
