I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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