I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
