look no pants
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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