i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i think im in europe. pls send help
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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