I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
