How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
