If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm having to shit out rocks
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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