Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i love accidental penises.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
