i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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