I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
