I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize