just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
