If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
