im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I pour the whiskey from now on
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
