Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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