Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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