I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
