i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
