Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
