If i could tip my vagina, i would.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
