he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
