She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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