I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize