I'm going to jail i love you
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
