He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize