I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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