Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
