Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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