bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
