I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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