Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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