She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
