well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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